Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
