No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize