Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize