my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
