I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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