I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Someone signed my nipple.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
