he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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