By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
