whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
