Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
