i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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