i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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