watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
