I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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