you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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