Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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