Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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