Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
