he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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