also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
