Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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