there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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