I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Randomize
