I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
