I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
