this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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