I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize