goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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