I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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