i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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