Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
