I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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