k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
