What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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