I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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