I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
