Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
