I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize