Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
