So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
