Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize