Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
