And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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