I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
