Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
its liver damage thursday
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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