I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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