i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
