the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
