Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
