So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
