I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
