It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
