I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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