im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
