Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
