if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize