dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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