you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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