you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
