do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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