She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I touched a dick in church today
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
