1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
