I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
pray to the hookup gods
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
