we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
