I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
