Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
